she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
