Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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