I want to stick my p in your. b.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
