Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
