So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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