i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
