okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
