did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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