just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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