Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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