dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
