If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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