you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
