WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
