i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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