Dual....:-)
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
