I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
