Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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