I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
