it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
