conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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