she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
