You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
