I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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