when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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