I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
