i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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