sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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