Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
