Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
