Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
