We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
