spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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