the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
