You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
