Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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