A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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