hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize