I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
