great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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