So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize