remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
