Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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