A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
