and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
