I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
