Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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