census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
