I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize