Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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