i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
