Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
