Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize