I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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