i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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