That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize