I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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