i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
