Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
