my sisters under your porch take her home
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
