so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
