People with herpes should wear stickers.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
