Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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