..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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