You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
